These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. –"All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?" –"Eventually," said the consultant, "she will rise and shine." A sign on a cosmetic surgery clinics says: "If life gives you lemons, a simple operation can give you melons." Question: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? Answer: Only if you aim it well enough. The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter – he's got to just know. - Will Rogers